Let’s be honest: Starting a new relationship can be incredibly fun and exciting.
There’s someone out there who thinks you’re funny, cute, and truly enjoys your company! The beginning is sheer bliss – nothing your new partner does is annoying, frustrating, or weird. They are perfect!
But wait… No one is perfect.
So, while you’re riding through this montage of bliss, keep in mind that, though worth it, relationships can be a lot of work. This is especially true the longer you and your new partner stay together. However, that is no reason to get discouraged! There are certain relationship do’s and don’ts for new love, and for aged love.
In this article, we will go over how to start a relationship, new love, relationship rules, how to not be clingy, on and off relationships, and how to remain happy in a long term serious relationship.
Let’s get right into it!
Top 4 Relationship Don’ts
#1. Do NOT get intimate with a person until you are comfortable in discussing absolutely everything with them
“If you aren’t comfortable asking them about STDs and STIs or telling them about your own sexual health, it’s not yet the time to have sex”, – Kelly Campbell, PhD, Professor of Psychology and Human Development
This is absolutely true. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, or a one-night stand, you need to be able to discuss sexual health with a partner before engaging in sex.
#2. Don’t blow up their phone with calls and text messages
It is crucial to keep things reciprocal and gradual in a new relationship. In fact, that statement is true for long-term commitment, too.
If your new love initiates a plan to get together first, you’re welcome to initiate the second date – so on and so forth. That said, if you find yourself always texting or calling first, it may be time to take a step back and allow your partner to reach out when they are ready.
#3. Don’t belittle yourself, no matter your past “mistakes” or “flaws”
Listen: Everyone has bits and pieces of their past that they are less than thrilled about. Maybe even feelings of shame or embarrassment in regards to past experiences. But remember – never dwell on your so called “mistakes”, because they aren’t mistakes.
Life often throws us curve balls. When that happens, we all handle the situation in the best way we can at the time. If you are going through a hardship, or if you’ve had difficulties in the past, try your best to disclose and discuss those things in a positive light (when you’re ready to do so, of course). Honesty is essential for a healthy and lasting relationship. By having a positive outlook on these topics, you’ll display a sense of maturity and closure regarding those issues.
#4. Don’t be a ‘Negative Nelly’, especially in the early stages of a relationship
Are you a picky eater?
Try to be open to trying new foods or participating in activities that may be “out of your comfort zone”. No one likes to spend time with a debbie downer, plus it’s attractive to be open to new experiences. I mean, who knows? Maybe you’ll end up loving that Thai curry!
Top 4 Relationship Dos
#1. Maintain a Balanced Lifestyle
This goes for both you and your new love interest. When a new relationship begins, it’s common for both parties to want to spend every minute together. However, it’s vitally important to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Make the effort to continue spending time with family and friends, keep working hard, take time to exercise, and enjoy some alone time, too. The minute new couples overstay their welcome, the relationship can overwhelm one or both partners. Plus, you risk losing yourself in a relationship if you don’t make time for yourself every once in a while.
Remember this: Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
#2. Keep an eye out for Red Flags
For example: If your new partner is continually making plans and repeatedly canceling, if you catch them lying, or if you notice they’re treating others poorly, you should consider the idea that this person isn’t worth investing in a long-term commitment.
#3. Keep the plans varied and interesting
This is key. Do not see each other in the exact same setting, context, or place all the time. Switch it up! Try things that are new to either both of you, or one of you. New experiences are a joy to share with a new love interest. Go for sunset walks, lunch dates, or double dates. Check out your local venues for concerts, festivals, and farmers markets.
By doing various activities, you’ll have the opportunity to see your partner navigate in different situations and settings. This can be incredibly illuminating – and can open your eyes to who they are when you aren’t around. You can also use these types of situations to look out for any red flags.
#4. Want a happy relationship? Communication is the answer.
“Say what you mean and mean what you say, be direct and considerate, choose battles wisely, treat your partner well, and avoid destructive things like yelling, insulting, and judging”, – Kelly Campbell, PhD, Professor of Psychology and Human Development
The fact of the matter is, the start of a relationship can, and will, lay down the foundation for the future of that relationship. That said, pay close attention to how you communicate with your partner from the very beginning.